Mystery Cries

Oh man.  I am scared.  Today Ian started to have mystery cries.  I’m guessing it’s his tummy, but I’m just guessing.  It’s not a hungry cry, it’s all of a sudden total screaming.  Terrifying for a new mother.  I KNOW I’m not alone, but boy does it feel like it.  I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and I see a black future filled with sleepless nights pacing my apartment while bouncing my baby, and completely losing my mind.

I feel sorry for my parents who are coming on Monday, like, sorry you missed the cute, sleepy baby he was for the first two weeks.  Now you get the super fussy, frightening baby…and I feel like I’ve manifested this because I’m so afraid of it.  Like it’s my fault, which makes me want to hide from the world.

This evening, I sent him off with husband and stepson so I could have a “break”.  I’m supposed to be sleeping, but I’m just lying in the dark, crying, anticipating a long night ahead.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still love him more than life, I’m still so excited he’s here.  I’m just scared of what the future holds, and this feeling makes labor seem easy.  Help.

7 comments on “Mystery Cries

  1. We had a similar experience – starting right around 2 weeks. Could be gas (gas drops or gripe water help!), could just be general fussiness which will last for a while, I’m afraid. For us, it really helped to put Lucy in a carrier or sling when she was fussy. it DOES get better….I promise.

  2. I understand completely. We had similar issues and discovered (via a desperate elimination diet on my part) around 5 weeks that our dear son was having an allergic reaction to my milk when I ate any amount of dairy. The change in my diet seemed hard to make, but it wasn’t really, in the scheme of things. I hope you also find that your solution is so clear and manageable.

  3. Aw, many hugs! I remember those feelings of fear & being so overwhelmed. It is rough, but you will get through it! Hug him tight & remember this too shall pass. 🙂

    • Thank you, Ruth! It already has gotten better, and in those moments I remind myself that I have a healthy, thriving baby, and so much to be grateful for. Thanks for visiting the blog! xo

  4. We had one baby, who all I could do is hold him skin to skin for hours…always late afternoon until about 8.00pm, he still screamed, it was AWFUL but at least I knew, he knew, I was there for him.

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