Day two was rough. Not the training, the baby. He was much needier, and I was tired and in pain, and the pain causes me extreme anxiety, which leads to not happy mamaness, which doesn’t help anyone or anything. Needless to say, it was very challenging for me to focus on doula training and I feel a million miles away from actually being able to be of service in that way.

The pain. Ian has started sleeping 7 hour stretches during the night (YAY). My boobs don’t know that and became extremely engorged (BOO). I thought about pumping, but then thought maybe I should let my body know he doesn’t need that milk, otherwise I’ll be pumping at 2am for the rest of my life (I know, hyperbole is my friend). So, I didn’t pump. Now I feel like my breasts are past the point of no return. No matter how much I nurse or pump, they feel like they were slammed into a brick wall and the left breast has reddish streaks that look like a sunburn. OH NO.

I really don’t want to go the antibiotics route, but I also don’t want to develop an infection. I’m already exhausted and don’t have much help with Ian right now since husband is working two jobs. I’m scared, and eating a pepperoni pizza has not helped as much as I thought it would. I took a bath, massaged the suckers, pumped…took Tylenol. Pray for my bosoms, please. xoxo