So anxious these days. I feel like I should be working (like parenting by myself all day isn’t work, right?), then I get some clients and it sends me into a complete panic. Right now the only day I can cook is Sundays, unless I hire help to take care of Ian, which would take about half of my cook fee. And if I cook on Sundays, that takes away Evan’s ONE day off and he gets to chase around Ian instead of getting some rest. Me working on Sundays also means any family social time is out the window.
I wish I could just feel comfortable saying that I’m not going to work regularly right now, but I feel too guilty to feel comfortable.
I. Am. Crazy. Anyone want to tell me what to do? I’ll thank you (I might say fuck off, too, but only behind your back…promise).
While I’m deciding whether to take the big job and obsess over it, or not take the big job and be depressed that I’m not working, I’ll eat some oatmeal.