Foggy Mornings

We've been feeling contemplative these days. Ian gets the 5,000 mile stare from me.

 

So anxious these days. I feel like I should be working (like parenting by myself all day isn’t work, right?), then I get some clients and it sends me into a complete panic. Right now the only day I can cook is Sundays, unless I hire help to take care of Ian, which would take about half of my cook fee. And if I cook on Sundays, that takes away Evan’s ONE day off and he gets to chase around Ian instead of getting some rest.  Me working on Sundays also means any family social time is out the window.

I wish I could just feel comfortable saying that I’m not going to work regularly right now, but I feel too guilty to feel comfortable.

I. Am. Crazy. Anyone want to tell me what to do? I’ll thank you (I might say fuck off, too, but only behind your back…promise).

While I’m deciding whether to take the big job and obsess over it, or not take the big job and be depressed that I’m not working, I’ll eat some oatmeal.

Hot cinnamon oats with some cereal to mix in for crunch.

 

2 comments on “Foggy Mornings

  1. Hi, Mandy. Let me tell you from experience, ( I went back to work when Erika was 10 months old.) ENJOY this time, ENJOY this time IF you don’t need to work…This time when the children are babies goes by so quickly and is so magical EVERY day! The things as adults we take for granted, are so wonderful, so new and monumental in their growing and development. ENJOY it and relax…bake cookies, make meals and share with your mommy friends, go to museums, swim, run and have FUN with Ian & Evan.

    You are lucky that the pressure you are putting on you, is not coming from a need of a 2nd income, it’s personal performance pressure. I’m sure you wonder about Mandy, the personal chef and how she’s growing and developing because you are Mommy Mandy, with the 24/7 job, sometimes thankless and oft times FULL of unconditional love from a little man who’s only 9 months old.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, enjoy this time and relax. This time is fleeting…trust me on this one…I went back to full time work when Erika was 10 months old, out of necessity. Hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I could have been there for more at home.

    YOUR heart knows what’s best for you and Ian. Follow it, and you’ll be the better Mandy and mommy for it.

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