I’ve been posting my old Facebook status updates for the past few days.
December 28: Retail therapy. Cute pink nursing bra and soft cotton loungy pjs in 3 different colors. Bring on the baby!
December 29: Weekly check-in with midwife, grocery shopping, blog post stockpiling and man, this rain makes me want to bake something…
41 inch waist. Awesome!
December 30: Water has broken
There is no status update on December 31. I was not online. I was trying to breathe. I was doubting myself. I was in the shower for hours at a time. I was in another realm.
I am acutely aware of how comfortable I am today. That my stomach is flat. That there is no crampiness anywhere. Today, I am making African groundnut stew and cilantro garlic hummus and pineapple cake for a wee celebration tomorrow.
Ian will be one. This is not possible.
Ian, I thank you for introducing myself to me. You have taught me that I am stronger, more patient, more compassionate, have more endurance, more courage and spirit than I knew. When I see you for the first time every morning, your presence and light gives me pause.
I love the language you speak with your eyes and squeals. I love your excitement for the outside air and cracks of light and shadow on the wall and for bananas.
I love everything about you. Thank you for choosing us.