I’ve been watching this video a lot to remind myself that Ian has the capacity to be happy. It’s hard times over here this week.
He’s different. Meltdowns are constant. I don’t know if he’s in pain (2 yr molars perhaps?) or has a virus or if this is the beginning of the Terrific Twos in which case, AWESOME. He’s super whiny and clingy and even when I’m right there, full on, holding him, boob out, he often thrashes himself about, wailing. I keep taking him to the doctor to get his ears and throat checked and everything is clear. We’re going back today.
He doesn’t display this behavior for the babysitter, thank GOD, but mama and daddy get it full force. I’m afraid of my kid and I’m afraid of the day.
At least he sleeps. Being a pill must be exhausting. Yesterday, we had the shortest park outing ever, clocking in at 15 minutes after he had a hum dinger of a tantrum when I wouldn’t let him sit in the fountain. Then he promptly passed out in his stroller at 10:45am and slept for three hours (he normally naps at noon).
What’s the one thing he wants to do inside our house? Watch Curious George. He asks me constantly, with pleases both verbal and signed. I think he would watch all day long if I let him. Honestly, it’s SO much easier to handle him when that damn show is on. I can change his diaper, change his clothes, feed him (oh that’s the other thing, he refuses to eat most of the time) without it being a battle, but I feel like I’m creating a TV addict.
I tried going to the library and getting loads of new books. Worked for about five minutes. “Watch George? Watch George? Watch George?”
I’m ready to call in a specialist. Specifically, a specialist who will tell me I’m NOT going to fuck him up royally if I let him watch loads of Curious George.
My current tactic is to keep us out of the house as much as possible. There is no George at the park or Trader Joe’s. Some days it works well and some days he just melts. I managed to not turn George on at all last night as I made dinner and tried to comfort him. It was Hellish and exhausting.
I know mothers who have no television, AND there toddlers don’t nap, so I know it’s possible, I just don’t know if I can do it. Or if I want to.