Was just texting with a mama friend and the word authenticity came up, and stuck. Today, I tried out a bit of birth hypnosis with a doula client. I was nervous because I’m just starting to learn these techniques, and my default with anything in life is that I’d better be extraordinary at it before I present it to the world. I cannot tell you how many things I’ve not done or quit for this very reason (journalism, photography, dance, cookie business, art class, and every sport I’ve ever tried to name a few).
I feel uneasy because I think in order to be “professional” I must be “perfect,” and then yesterday it hit me that that is crap and only an excuse to hide (only took me 37 years). One of the aspects of my doula journey that has been humbling, and rewarding, is that the only way I can get better is to simply show up and do my best. Unlike cooking, which I can toil away at alone with only my family as witnesses (and critics), I need to attend births in order to get better at attending births, and I need to practice hypnosis in order to get better at hypnosis.
I’ve decided that it really is okay to show up as ME: A birth doula incredibly passionate about this work, learning every day and completely committed to giving my clients 100% of my presence, love, and effort. Will I always have an answer? No. Will I make mistakes? Yes. But I will be on time, have a positive attitude, truly listen to my clients needs and wishes, and most importantly, come from an authentic place.
This little notion is rocking my mind in a lovely way. It makes doing my job so much more pleasurable because I’m not trying to be more than I am. I’m trusting that I’m enough.